My 45th Broken Bone and Giant Bulls

I know, I know - it has been over a year since my last post. But I have mentally posted to the blog. Anyway, quit your complaining cus here is a new post. Okay, okay - family members and the odd friend has already read this. But I'm sure you will still be entertained. This is the story of my 45th broken bone... a toe. How? you ask? Get out the Kleenex, you will need it to wipe the tears from your eyes from laughing too hard...

Well, the office that I work for – MCS – decided to buy me a bike to get around the ‘campus’ as they refer to this place. The bike was delivered to me yesterday (ok, months ago, but remember that this was written at the time) and as I approached the damn thing it occurred to me that I hadn’t been on a bike for nearly 25 years. Too late... I had a little wobbly practice under the watchful eyes of the office manager who felt I was good to go. ... fool ...

I had another ride last night to pick up a few grocery items, still wobbly but no accidents (although I did drive into a ditch on the way home from the office earlier but nobody noticed, I didn’t get hurt so it doesn’t actually count – I didn’t even fall off the bike). However, this morning was another matter.

I left the house to go to the temple. It wouldn’t have been 3 yards before I slipped in the mud outside the house. I blame the fact that the pathway has a marked camber and that the gardeners, who witnessed the incident, had dumped their muddy prunings in piles along the pathway. This actually has nothing to do with it, but it works for me. I was actually just trying to ‘kick-off’ but my sari kinda tangled me up (not really, but it still works for me) and when I put my foot down to catch myself I slipped in the mud rather ungracefully. “Oh! Mataji!” (Oh! Mother! – as they respectfully address women here in India) but with slight grins they couldn’t hide. No, this isn’t when I broke my toe...

So I gathered myself, with a little less dignity, and again with a wobbly start I kicked off and continued on my wobbly way. There is a little guard house, less then 5 ft x 5 ft and about 9 ft high and a guard standing out front on the opposite side of the pathway meaning I had to ride between the guard and the guardhouse. You would think this implies that there was little room for me to pass, but no, there would have been about 10 feet or more and no one in else in the way or any other obstacle. But there it was; I could see it heading straight for me. You know how they say these kinda things happen in slow motion...well, it was just like that. I knew about 15 feet before it crashed into me, that I was going to collide straight into the side of the guardhouse! And so I did and managed to lift out of my seat and hit my head on the wall in front of me right in front of the guard. “Oh! Mataji!” But no, this isn’t how I broke my toe either. Wait! There’s more...

I gathered my self and the shreds of my dignity and continued on. Turned right onto Samadhi Road, rode the 40 feet safely passing several other riders, a few other pedestrians and a scooter. Turned right onto the temple road and there it was – about 40 feet in front of me was a bullock cart with 2 very large bulls, whose horns span a meter each, pulling the 6.5 foot high trailer that collects the garbage from all around the campus. “FUCK!” I mutter under my breath. “Now what?” The bulls and the cart take up nearly all the road. There is some little room on either side, but, you know, BULLS! Ok, be cool, go around the right side. Of course, there are about 3 dozen pedestrians all about. So I manage to get around the side of the bulls and I’m feeling a little better when all of sudden, as I’m alongside the bulls I realise that the cart is actually wider than the bulls! “Oh-My-God!” And so I ride head on into the front of the cart. This time not in slow motion but in real time. Again I leave my seat, hit my head on the cart and my bike and I slide down the back flank and leg of the bull on my side. Fortunately the cart stops dead and the bull kindly freezes and doesn’t shift in any way. “Oh! Mataji!” in chorus from all the pedestrians. And that’s how I broke my toe, bruised my thigh and scrapped my shins. Again I pick up my bike, no dignity left to collect and continue to the temple not a little in shock. I decided to leave my bike there and limped home instead. Bhaskara had to pick it up for me. Sigh...

When I told Bhaskara about the accident he decided that he would run along in front of me with a flashing light on his head, red flags in his hands, with a whistle and horn and shout everyone out of the way.

So, another day in India. 

But this was some time ago now and I manage to get around basically without incident. I have even been out on the street several times and regular pass the bull carts and even the elephants...two of them...walking side by side. But the other day I did have to get off the bike and walk past them because they were surrounded by 50 people. Safety First!